Recently I was watching a video from my business coaching that taught some principles that really stood out to me. I am a big believer of those "aha" moments where things click in my head and all of the knowledge that I have accumulated over the decades comes together in one giant vision.
This was not one of those occasions.
This was more of a Things That Make You Go Hmmm...moments.
So - what do we internally desire? This is what was taught.
1. Feel worthy
2. Feel love
3. Feel accepted
4. Feel important
5. Feel enough
Let's address some of these.
Feel Worthy - what is it that makes you feel worthy? I live in an environment where feeling worthy is a big deal. Being worthy is something to strive for. Do you think that feeling worthy and being worthy means feeling and being perfect? I will be honest - I think that is the mentality around here sometimes. But the perfection is all on the outside. Just keeping it real. The only way that I consistently feel worthy is when I am consistently praying and consistently trying to just be a little bit better each day. And when I have slip ups, like talking bad about someone or being mean to my kids, I ask for forgiveness and then I try to forgive myself. Going through life beating myself up for flaws - both external and internal - will never help me feel worthy.
Feel Love - I don't struggle much with this because I'm one of those weird people that assume that most people that know me love me. Or hate me, but whatever. I'm quirky and nutty and opinionated and bossy and overbearing and funny and loving and a whole mess of other stuff. I kind of realize this about myself. Really. The one thing that I love about myself (what?!) is that I am pretty self-aware and always willing to make changes in my life to be a better person. Which brings up an interesting question - do you love yourself? I mean, really? Because I have learned to love myself which makes life a whole lot easier.
Feel Accepted - Ah yes, the big one. Because we all struggle with feeling accepted. All of us. Did you read that right? Yes, you did. All of us. I have 902 friends on Facebook and I still have days where I don't feel accepted by someone or other because I read on someone's blog that I wasn't invited to some random party and then I go into my self-pity spiral of "nobody likes me everybody hates me I'm going to eat some worms". And then I eat chocolate and sabotage my health efforts and then I don't feel accepted because everyone at that party was skinny and I am, of course, fat, and therefore no one likes me so I should start deleting friends from Facebook just to show THEM. What the? Yeah, that's productive. Or I can just accept myself for who I am and work towards who I want to be and throw a party and get over it. Which should be in vinyl in all of our houses - GET OVER IT. I'm going to get right on that.
Feel Important - It's lonely at the top. Not that I would really even know having not actually been at the top. I am an awesome second in command (or third or fourth). Seriously - I will prove my case. In Junior High I was the Assistant Editor of the yearbook. In high school I was Co-Captain of the cheerleading squad and Senior Class Secretary. In college I was the Public Relations something or other for the dorm activity council. In Virginia I was a counselor in the Institute Council Presidency. When I helped with the charter school I was over enrollment. With Phase 3 Recruiting I am the Chief People Officer (yeah, whatever - it works for what I do). I have never held a calling at church or in life where I was in charge. If I was ever asked to do something where I really had to be in charge, I might throw up. And then I would pray. A lot. My point is, no matter what you are doing in life it is important to someone, somehow. And if you feel that it isn't, change your perspective, because it is. And you rock. And if you are reading this I think you are important.
Feel Enough - This brings me to the crowning pinnacle of interesting things I have to say today. YOU ARE ENOUGH. You. Right now. Right at the exact point you are in your journey in life. And you rock. I might have mentioned that. You have gifts and talents and brilliance that may be covered by sludge and crap and the mud of self-loathing and doubt. However, they are still there and God doesn't make ugly so let's clear it all off and let your brilliance show. Because, let's face it, life is far more interesting when you show up in your own brilliance and let other people show up in theirs.
Do me a favor, because you are my friend and I love you and want to know your brilliance. Take a few minutes today and write down what you love about yourself. BE HONEST. You have to come up with five things, and then you have to share them with your lifeline. If you don't have a lifeline, you have to share them with me. I would love to bask in your brilliance!